“Merry Christmas” Gang Terrorizes Generic Holiday Shoppers |
SASKATOON (SBP) – A social scourge visited the hub city this week when a group of unarmed terrorists verbally assaulted generic holiday shoppers at various markets around the city. The verbal assaults centered on one malicious phrase. Full Story »
Grampa Not Amused By Techno Christmas |
CANORA (SBP) — Oy Yoy Yoy! Could there be anything more annoying than having a damned stupid video camera shoved in your damned face while trying to eat your perogies, sour cream, cabbage rolls and turkey? Full Story »
Annoying Little Kid Loses Two Front Teeth |
ESTEVAN (SBP) – Everyone stops and stares at him. His two teeth are gone, as they can plainly see. Who can he blame for this catastrophe? Full Story »
Nickelback To Unite Country’s Hatred at Grey Cup Half Time Show |
VANCOUVER (SBP) — November is a special time of year in Canada. It is when the country gets together to celebrate the finale of the CFL season; the Grey Cup. No matter if people were fans or not of the league, the event seems to bring people from all parts of the country together in harmony for a great national institution. Full Story »
Rider Fans Secretly Relieved Team Not In Grey Cup |
RIDERVILLE (SBP) — Saskatchewan’s medicare capacity has been relieved of some pressure this November when the Saskatchewan Roughriders were eliminated from playoff contention. The absence of playoff tension has come as a secret relief to fans and the province in general. Full Story »
Job Fair Quickly Scatters “Occupy” Protesters |
SASKATOON (SBP) — Screams of utter terror resonated throughout the streets of Saskatoon last weekend after a heartless group of individuals broke up the “Occupy Saskatoon” protest by offering the protesters jobs. The impromptu job fair quickly dispersed 99% of the protesters while 1% stayed to listen to the potential career opportunities. Full Story »
CBC Sask Finally Removes NDP Campaign Sign From Front Lawn |
REGINA (SBP) — One week after the most devastating provincial election defeat in the network’s history, the CBC finally and lamentably removed their NDP campaign sign from their front lawn. The 30 foot high “Re-elect Dwain Lingenfelter” sign stood proudly at the entrance of the state funded media corporation from the very start of the 2011 provincial election. Full Story »
Lingenfelter Overrun By Avalanche, Missing |
REGINA (SBP) — NDP Leader Dwain Lingenfelter is missing and presumed buried after an avalanche swept through Regina’s Douglas Park Monday night. Search parties have been dispatched to recover the vaunted party leader. So far, to no avail.
NDP Capture Majority of the Minority of the Vote |
SASKATOON (SBP) — By capturing over 99% of the minority of votes cast in the 2011 election, the Provincial NDP and Green Parties have resurrected the debate over whether such a statistical achievement should result in them actually forming government. Full Story »
Sask Party, NDP Woo Underage, Ineligible Voters |
SASKATOON (SBP) — With polls showing an unprecedented amount of voters already decided, both the Sask Party and the Provincial NDP turned to people under the age of voting eligibility in order to make the lackadaisical “foregone conclusion” campaign somewhat exciting. Full Story »