Archive for June, 2011

Rider Fans Anxiously Await To See How Team Will Lose Grey Cup This Year

RIDER NATION (SBP) — Seven months after watching their beloved team lose a second consecutive championship game, Saskatchewan Roughrider fans all over the country have been eager to see what twists and turns will take place during the season before the team loses the Grey Cup again. Full Story »

Provincial Unions Hire Vancouver Rioters To Win Public Support

SOUTHEAST SASK (SBP) — In order to turn the tide of negative public opinion, the Saskatchewan Entitled Government Workers Union (SEGWU) hired hundreds of Vancouver Stanley Cup rioters to burn barns, turn over tractors and loot farm houses. The partnership is expected to win public support for the union cause as well as heal the black eye on the city of Vancouver. Full Story »

Toronto Dedicates Alleyway For Little Known Pro Football Team

TORONTO (SBP) — After years of playing in virtual anonymity, the Toronto Argonauts received their greatest honour when the city of Toronto finally dedicated an alleyway to the pro football franchise.  The alleyway, now known as “Argo Alley” backs off of the famous Wayne Gretzky’s restaurant on Blue Jays Way. Full Story »

Public Urges Mosquitoes To Unionize, Go On Strike

STAGNANT WATER (SBP) — With a very wet spring and abundant breeding conditions for mosquitoes, Saskatchewan residents are lobbying the blood sucking insects to become a certified union, join their public servant brethren, and immediately go on strike. The desperate plea by residents is a secret attempt to lessen an immanent plague. Full Story »

Vancouver Rioters Apologize For Getting Caught

VANCOUVER (SBP) — A week after the Stanley Cup riots, more tragedy has occurred as thousands of participants have been identified through photos posted on social networking sites like facebook and twitter. Because their anonymity was compromised, many of the rioters have come forward and apologized for getting caught. Full Story »

Bitchin G20 House Wrecker Party Less Expensive Than Anticipated

TORONTO (SBP) — What if you invited everyone to a house trashing party and everyone came? You’d think that would get pretty expensive, right? Well, what if your expenses for the house trashing party were only 60% of what you originally thought? Would that make for successful house trashing party? Full Story »

Vancouver Has Celebratory Riot After CFL Preseason Victory

VANCOUVER (SBP) — Saskatchewan Roughrider fans have a lot to learn about passionately supporting their team. After the B.C. Lions defeated the Calgary Stampeders 24-0 in preseason action, Lions fans took to the streets, burned cars, broke windows and looted stores in an unbridled display of euphoria. Full Story »

Parliamentary Page Upstages Stanley Cup Presentation

VANCOUVER (SBP) — In her continuing mission to inspire citizens to take back Canada from it’s elected dictatorial oppressors, the Parliamentary Page known as “Precious Snowflake” held up a sign during the Stanley Cup Presentation to “Stop Hockey”. Full Story »

Shitty Service Unaffected By Air Canada Strike

SASKATOON (SBP) — Travellers around the country noticed no discernible change in dissatisfaction with their flight experience after thousands of Air Canada customer service agents went on strike across the country. The airliner has been left scrambling to keep up it’s customer service levels to it’s traditional standard of “shitty”. Full Story »

Citizens Barely Enduring Postal Strike With Phone, email, Internet, Fax, Texting, Couriers…

SASKATOON (SBP) — It is two weeks into the rotating postal strike and everyone can feel it. The empty mail boxes are a sign of social isolation. The streets are missing that one extra person walking the streets who was willing to talk to you for a few seconds. There is a palpable hole in the social fabric of the nation. Full Story »