Lingenfelter Falls Off Unstable Platform

REGINA (SBP) — In an unfortunate turn of events, Provincial NDP leader Dwain Lingenfelter sustained a hairline fracture on his ankle after falling off an unstable platform. The injury, which occurred during the leader’s debate, may keep the opposition leader out of action for the remainder of the election season.

“We honestly thought the platform would hold,” said an NDP handler, “After all, it was built with unionized crown employee labour.”

The platform was made of a new metal called “unsustainium” and cost an estimated 2.7 billion dollars. Although, the ruling Sask Party challenges these numbers and puts the actual cost of the platform at more than 3 billion dollars. And, once coffee breaks, extended lunch hours and time off for grievance claims were factored in, a larger number than the original estimate did seem to make sense.

“Please be reminded that we now add the caveat of; give or take a billion dollars,” said a Sask Party spokesperson, “Just because…you know…how about those Riders?”

One cause of concern was that Lingenfelter’s unstable platform had not been tested prior to use. There were no engineer reports or architectural drawings made available to anyone and were based on the extinct practice of best guesses. This ultimately turned out to be an unfortunate oversight.

“We just told him that we can provide the details of how the platform was built after the election,” said one of Lingenfelter’s platform designers, “Until then, it was just a concept of, here’s something you stand upon and, hopefully, it holds up without having to explain how it works.

“Who knew if you didn’t plan it out properly that it wouldn’t hold under any kind of weight?”

While the debate was stopped for Lingenfelter to get his ankle taped up, he did seem to exhibit concussion symptoms afterward.

“I can’t believe he didn’t mention Grant Devine or Tommy Douglas,” said an NDP supporter, “This is a serious offense! I…I can’t believe that. Nobody in their right mind would leave them out of a debate. It goes against our relig…er, I mean political dialogue.”

“My world is so shaken that I don’t know what to think anymore. Surely, Lingenfelter did sustain a head injury.” said another NDP supporter, “Because Tommy Douglas, Tommy Douglas and Tommy Douglas.”

While plans are in place for a backup leader to finish the election campaign, Lingenfelter is still expected to play a starting role. It has also been reported that Lingenfelter will also continue to use the unstable platform at his own risk as it is too late in the game to build a new one.