TORONTO (SBP) \u2013 In an attempt to offset the ratings ass-kicking they’ve received the past two weeks, the “Canadian-Type” of Broadcasting Corporation decided to go for broke on Sunday afternoon by showing a pornographic made-for-TV special. The special, entitled \u201cThe Beach Moaners\u201d aired in the same time slot as the men’s Olympic Gold medal game between Canada and the USA. <\/p>\n
\u201cWe normally wouldn’t have gone this route,\u201d explained the Canadian Broadcasting president, \u201cBut, our ratings have been steadily declining for years due to the quality programming from other networks. And, we’ve been getting absolutely killed during the Winter Olympics. The only way you can fight quality programming is with sleaze. <\/p>\n
\u201cWe had to do what we had to do.\u201d<\/p>\n
The \u201cBeach Moaners\u201d is a traditional x-rated homage to a long running TV series. The storyline centres around a young hot stud named Rick Adonis who has random hook ups at the local club, Molly’s Reach Around. He then takes them back to his yacht \u2013 affectionately named the \u201cPussephene\u201d \u2013 where he engages in emotionally detached, hedonistic sex. Each encounter Adonis has concludes with him dropping off his conquest at the beach without paying for breakfast the next morning.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust think of it as ‘Bang Bus’ in a logging industry setting,\u201d said Beach Moaners<\/em> director, Ron Laremy.<\/p>\n The supporting cast includes Constable Constable who’s \u201cbad bad to the bone bone\u201d and an unshaven antagonist named Phallic who always tries to cock block Adonis’ game each episode.<\/p>\n \u201cWhile we do make a small effort to develop some characters in the show, it’s not really the priority,\u201d explained Laremy, \u201cWe basically follow the tradition of Canadian Broadcasting programming by sparing expense on set design, character development and story.\u201d<\/p>\n Finished Laremy: \u201cThere’s only so much of the Broadcasting Corporation’s billion dollar budget to go around, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n The Beach Moaners is a test pilot in a grander scheme for the state run network. The Canadian Broadcaster plans to have a \u201cMoney Shot Mondays\u201d line up that will feature programs like \u201cBarely Legal Anne of Green Gables\u201d, \u201cPinned On My Back\u201d and \u201cThis Hour Has 22 Minutes of Shagging\u201d. <\/p>\n \u201cIt really is our last ditch effort to get some viewers,\u201d said the network president, \u201cThe only successful shows we have on this network \u2013 Dragon’s Den<\/em> and Hockey Night In Canada<\/em> \u2013 have a decidedly capitalistic slant. Those shows fervently go against Mother Corps Liberal agenda and sense of entitlement.\u201d<\/p>\n The Canadian Broadcaster hopes that the \u201cMoney Shot Monday\u201d lineup will salvage the parasitic image of the network. It also hopes to generate enough ratings for people to recognize the next Canadian Broadcaster personality in line that becomes Governor General of Canada.<\/p>\n [paypal-donation]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" TORONTO (SBP) \u2013 In an attempt to offset the ratings ass-kicking they’ve received the past two weeks, the “Canadian-Type” of Broadcasting Corporation decided to go for broke on Sunday afternoon by showing a pornographic made-for-TV special. The special, entitled \u201cThe Beach Moaners\u201d aired in the same time slot as the men’s Olympic Gold medal game […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1173","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.saskabush.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1173","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.saskabush.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.saskabush.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.saskabush.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.saskabush.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1173"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"http:\/\/www.saskabush.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1173\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1200,"href":"http:\/\/www.saskabush.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1173\/revisions\/1200"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.saskabush.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1173"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.saskabush.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1173"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.saskabush.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1173"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}