CALGARY (SBP) \u2013 The internationally renowned Calgary Stampede has decided to honour the recent achievements of the city’s professional football team by renaming it’s world-renowned rodeo to \u201cRunner Up Roundup\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe felt it important to rename the event to best reflect how we’ve been represented by the local football team,\u201d said an executive of the soon to be renamed Calgary Stampede, \u201cThey’ve been honouring us with their moniker and, now, we thought we’d return the favour.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Runner-Up Roundup will be similar to the Calgary Stampede but with some minor changes.\u00a0 Firstly, the slogan will be changed to \u201cThe Second-or-Third Greatest Outdoor Show On Earth\u201d.\u00a0 Additionally, the world’s best cowboys will also not be invited in favour of contestants who brag a lot despite finishing second or third when it came to the final rounds of competition.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, you see that, punk?\u00a0 See that?\u201d said cowboy Ronnie Bryant as he ran up to a child and flexed his biceps after being thrown off a bucking bronco, \u201cThat’s how second or third place is done, son!\u00a0 That’s what I’m talkin’ about!\u201d<\/p>\n
The Runner-Up Roundup will be a two week showcase of second or third-rate entertainment.\u00a0 The first week will have an impressive array of stars who will make everyone think this is a world class show.\u00a0 However, as the second week arrives and the pressure is on, the competitors will start revealing why they can’t win dinner-plate-sized belt buckles.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe’ve also made arrangements with food vendors who specialize in piping the sounds of food cooking over the loudspeaker but not providing any food.\u201d said the Runner Up Roundup executive, \u201cTourists can revel in the mouth watering audio of a sizzling steak without the need for actually seeing or tasting it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Fans of the old Calgary Stampede are advised to not mistake the onslaught of overconfidence and grandstanding for ability to do the job.\u00a0 While the two week event features cowboys who eventually\u00a0 fail to live up to expectations, it doesn’t stop the participants from showboating and pretending they are \u201call that\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cYee haw!\u00a0 Look at me, I’m a cowboy!\u201d said a dirt covered Brandon Drowner as he did a moon walk across the corral, \u201cI held on to that bull for 3 full seconds.\u00a0 Go, me-ee!\u00a0 Go me-ee!\u00a0 It’s my birthday!\u00a0 It’s my birthday!\u201d<\/p>\n
Advanced tickets for the Runner-Up Round up go on sale in the new year.\u00a0 Discounts are available as the event won’t feature anyone performing in the finals.<\/p>\n
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