“Star-Type” Of Toronto Newspaper Almost Makes Positive Comment About CFL

TORONTO (SBP) – One of Toronto’s main newspapers was almost fined by the city during Grey Cup week when it made a comment that could be interpreted as “positive” about the Canadian Football League.  A “Star-type” of Toronto publication, a cheap, tabloid-style newspaper with an unapologetic agenda of bringing the NFL to Toronto, nearly violated the city’s strict law of bashing the faster, more exciting brand of football when the newspaper referred to the Grey Cup as being “sold out”.

“We’re very, very sorry about the comment,” said a Senior Editor, “Every now and again, some things can slip through the cracks of our editing process.  We can assure that this unfortunate event will not be duplicated in the future.”

Added the Senior Editor:  “We hope that no fans of the CFL were created in the wake of the comment.”

After discovering the scandalous comment in the newspaper, Toronto’s city council held an emergency meeting during Grey Cup celebrations in downtown Toronto.  The discussion centred on the possible promotion of the Canadian institution in the world-class city.

“It was an unfortunate comment, for sure,” said a Toronto City Councillor, “We would like to assure all of our American friends that the newspaper has been dealt with to the fullest extent of our world-class Toronto laws.

“Long live the NFL and, especially, our beloved Buffalo Bills.”

Other Toronto city councillors shared in the sentiments.

“While that little Canadian championship game brings in multi-millions of dollars into Toronto’s economy, we just can’t go around saying nice things about the stupid little…what’s it called again?  CFL?” said a Toronto City Councillor, “If word got out that we might actually embrace that little, non-world class league, our chances of getting an NFL team would be jeopardized.”

“If any Americans are listening,” said another Toronto City Councillor, “We didn’t have a football championship game here in Toronto.  And, it didn’t sell out and there wasn’t a huge party downtown attended by tens of thousands of people.  We’d never have anything like that unless it was the NFL.

“To reiterate; there was no football championship game.  No one attended it.  And, no one had any fun in the city of Toronto due to a football festival.”

In its defence, the “Star-type” of Toronto newspaper did point out that their lead stories were the Toronto Maple Leafs and the fact that the CFL did acknowledge the NFL would likely come to Toronto in the future.

“City council did take that into consideration before levying the hefty fine,” said the “Star-type” Senior Editor, “Rest assured, we will be talking to our sports reporters about being not even remotely nice to the CFL in the future.

“Long live the NFL and, go Bills!”