WORLD WIDE WEB (SBP) — Search engines around the internet were alarmed about data loss this week when queries for “Rider Offence” would go through their massive database of materials going back over a decade and return no results. It could not be readily explained why the usually reliable search engines and their advanced technology could not produce a single valid result.

“We’ve checked everything from caching issues to rebooting all of our servers,“ said a bemused representative from Google, “And, there just wasn’t a single result to be found. Usually, we can find anything, however obscure.”

The non-result is a recent phenomenon that surfaced in all search engines in the past month. Representatives from Bing, Yahoo!, Google and Dog Pile have all tried to explain the phenomenon without coming to a satisfactory conclusion.

“Honestly, we swear we saw ‘Rider Offence’ there a month go. I even saw it quite prominently in the search rankings around the Labour day weekend.” said one IT Personnel from Bing, “It was even starting to trend rather highly for a couple of weeks after that. Then, for some reason, it vanished.”

Yahoo! staff also mirrored the same experience.

“It’s almost like someone highlighted ‘Rider Offence’ and pressed delete.” said a Yahoo! Tech, “We usually have backup data that can find accidental deletions. But, even our backups don’t show any existence of ‘Rider Offence’.”

Usually, when something on the internet is accidentally deleted, there are fallback plans to retrieve the data. From Google’s caching to the “wayback machine” on archive.org, data is protected from being wiped from existence.

“We can’t explain it.” said a Dog Pile representative, “It’s almost like ‘Rider Offence’ never existed at all. And, I know for sure it was there a month ago! I think I have a screen shot somewhere.”

The phenomena is not limited to the search term ‘Rider Offence’, either.

“It is truly bizarre. I’ve only seen this one other time.” said a Google representative, “We’ve discovered another internet search comes up with zero results. And, that is ‘Dwaine Lingenfelter Approval Ratings’.”

The Google tech did assure that the search results for Lingenfelter’s approval ratings were pretty weak to being with. So, it’s not like the world wide web is losing anything worthwhile. Certainly not as big and impactful a loss as “Rider Offence”.

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