Russia Renegs On Promise To Pullout Before Olympic Climax

SALT LAKE CITY (SBP) — Days after promising to pull out before the climactic end to the Winter Olympic Games, officials from Russia decided at the last minute to stay fully penetrated in the event until the very end.

“We just said to ourselves ‘what the hell, we’ve come this far, we’re having fun and we might as well finish it off in there’,” said a Russian official, whose eyes were glazed over as he displayed a satisfied, euphoric smile, “I guess the climax to the games was just too irresistible to pass up inside the venue rather than playing amongst ourselves at home.

“Besides, we felt we were past the point of no return.”

Olympic officials were unsure of the last minute decision, having agreed to the coupling on the grounds the Russians would pull out before they were done.

“Yes, we know it wasn’t the safest arrangement to make,” said one Olympic Official, “but we wanted them to come so bad we were willing to risk it.

“And, now that they’ve stayed in the venues until after the climactic finish, we are a little worried about the possible consequences that may follow months from now.”

When asked if they would trust the Russians again when it came to pulling out before the end of the games, the Olympic Officials were non-committal.

“We don’t know for sure,” said the Official, “It’s not like we didn’t want them to stay to the end. I guess we wanted it as much as they did so we will accept at least half the blame for the incident.”

Russian officials were unavailable for further comment as they had already smoked their cigarettes, rolled over, and went to sleep.