Unceremoniously Dumped Rider Elected To CFL Hall Of Fame

HAMILTON (SBP) — The Canadian Football League announced that hugely popular former Saskatchewan Roughrider, Bobby Jurasin, was among 5 new inductees to the Canadian Football Hall of Fame.  Jurasin, who was unceremoniously dumped by the Riders late in his career and forced to play his last game in shame as a Toronto Argonaut, joins Matt Dunigan, Allen Pitts, and Henry (Gizmo) Williams, along with builder Victor Spencer, as the 2006 inductees.

“I guess we should say congratulations to Mr. Jurasin if we have to,” said an anonymous Rider executive, who was among those who allowed Jurasin to be treated like a piece of excrement in 1998 after Jurasin’s 12 stellar years of loyal and dedicated service, “We…uh, might make a mention of him in a program or something in the coming year if we haven’t already sold all of our advertising space.”

Jurasin, who was the heart and soul of the Roughrider defense from 1986-1997, is the league’s third all time leader in sacks with 142 and holds the team record for sacks in a season with 22. He is also shares the team’s all time record of media inattention with zero claims of “medical addictions”, zero felonies and zero sexually related national news stories.

“Big deal!  So he was a classy guy!” said the Rider executive, “Come on people! We honoured him back in 2002 at the plaza of honour.  What the hell more do you want?  So the guy got a few sacks and helped us win a Grey Cup. So what?”

Added the executive:  “Mr. Jurasin’s excellent work goes against our long tradition of mediocrity and dedication to failure.  Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to get back to congratulating ourselves for not getting a quality starting quarterback for our team for the upcoming season.”

Jurasin was not just a leader on the field but off the field as well. He was a dedicated Saskatchewanian who once said he bleeds green for the team. The outstanding defensive player also wore a trademark bandanna which he wore even on his last game when he was shamefully forced to play in a Toronto Argonaut uniform.

“My heart just broke for him that day,” said a longtime rider fan regarding Jurasin’s last game in the CFL in 1998 as a Toronto Argonaut, “Seeing him with those glassy eyes before he was introduced in the enemy’s uniform.  I will never forget it.  He was a classy and dedicated player who was never involved in scandals such as promiscuity or drugs.  He never made a bad name for himself on national news and never painted the team in a bad light.

“Maybe that’s why he was dumped by the team.”

Jurasin joins former teammate David Ridgeway as a Hall of Fame Roughrider who was callously dumped by the team without honour for their years of service. Both players were also instrumental in the Riders last Grey Cup victory in 1989 when the then classy Roughriders beat the Hamilton Tiger-Cats 43-40 in the most exciting championship game ever played.

“If you really want the truth, it goes against our policy to honour players who have won us Grey Cups,” said the anonymous Rider exec, “If we win championships, then the fans will have expectations and that will put pressure on us to work harder rather than just kick back and enjoy our do-nothing old boys club.”

The official induction ceremony for Jurasin will take place later in the football season.