Latest Stadium Proposal Accommodates Camper, Combine, & Tractor Parking

REGINA (SBP) – Yet another stadium idea has come to the table for consideration. A group of investors have tabled a proposal which showcases a more traditional view of Saskatchewan.

“We feel that our plan is much more representative of Saskatchewan culture,” said Pat Stand, leader of the bid, “Plus, it’s much, much cheaper and should silence all the nay sayers who are afraid of positive image and growth.”

The proposal is to simply use the already allocated 35 acre section of Regina and level it, leaving a wide open and flat wasteland.

“This would allow for all types of parking like campers, trailers, combines and tractors.” said Stand, “And, every event would be BYOLC.

“That is, Bring Your Own Lawn Chair.”

The $5,000 budget for the project is mainly to cover demolition. A cousin of the group’s vice president is said to have a grader and can come and do it on a weekend when he’s not busy seeding.

“Now, you may ask, how are events going to be handled,” said Stand, “Events like football games would have the field drawn in with chalk and rubber orange pylons. Our biggest issue with this will be drunken fans running onto the field at any given moment.”

Stand assured that his cousin Gurn and his buddies would “beat the living shit” out of anyone who dared do that. And, word would be put out rather quickly for people to behave, lest the shit kicking take place.

“We’ve also cordoned off an area of the field where we can set up temporary tents to sell Pilsner beer, perogies and bratwurst,” said Stand, “We’ve thought of everything, trust me.”

There will also be an area left treed in the far corner of the lot where young people can gather and have a pre-game bush party. The bush party will be self policing as fights over girlfriends and boyfriends will be settled on a “survival of the fittest” basis. The bonfire will be fueled by gas cans and old timber brought by guys who are obviously too old to hang out with high school kids, but can’t relate to adults. Though illegally set up in the city limits, the bonfire will be too far away for the police to investigate or even care to find.

As for bathroom facilities, it will simply be the areas between parked cars or, if that isn’t available, fans coming to events can simply use a “circle the wagons” technique to offer their fellow friend some privacy.

“This proposal is truly the only way to go,” said Stand, “It best shows the old thinking of Saskatchewan and, it is representative of the historical mindset of the people; it’s cheap, dirty and stereotypically regressive.”