Citizens Terrified By American Style Vacation Homes

REGINA (SBP) – Confirming the deepest, darkest fears of many residents, Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall unveiled the latest step in his march towards socioeconomic Armageddon. The wolf in sheep’s clothing used the provincial budget as a platform to open the door to an American-style, user pay winter vacation homes.

“There will be no universal winter vacation home coverage,” said the Premier in his address, “We even looked at a two-tier option. However, we felt it was best to hang people out to dry, make them earn their own money and choose their winter vacation destination for themselves. We don’t like it any better than you do but this is how it’s going to have to be.”

The plan, to take effect immediately, will force Saskatchewan residents to use their own savings to purchase winter vacation homes in such places like Arizona. With a reckless disregard for restrictions on location, residents are also allowed to co-own a foreign residential property with their parents.

Reaction to the plan was swift and decisive.

“What about those that can’t sink the money into an American style vacation home?” challenged opposition MLA Buckley Belanger, “What about them? Are they supposed to find a job? Are they supposed to build up savings? Are they supposed to have some measure of success?”

Continued Buckley Belanger: “If being independently successful without government intervention is what it takes to get an American style winter vacation home, then we all are truly in a sad state of affairs, Mr. Speaker!”

While Buckley’s words tasted awful, they seemed to work.

“I wish I could own a home in Arizona,” sniffed high school dropout Gurn Blahovich, a career gas jockey, “Where’s my winter vacation home?”

In stark contrast, the media clearly understood the purpose behind the new legislation.

“This is clearly an attempt by the Wall government to promote fascism and set up Nazi-style concentration camps in every city and town of every rural municipality of the province,” said a CBC Saskatchewan reporter, “Abandoning people to purchase their own vacation homes with their own money in a place of their choosing is a terrifying thought. Brad Wall frightens me and we’ll be sure to drag this sensational story out over a period of weeks.”

The opposition Saskatchewan NDP plans to make this a hot button election issue in 18 months. While a slogan has yet to be chosen, it will likely revolve around being a blissfully unaware prisoner of your own province.