University of Regina Professors to Embark on Comedy Tour

REGINA(SBP) – Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: So, two Canadian Soldiers walk into a restaurant after a typical day’s work. They had just saved a woman’s life who had the audacity to expose her face in public. And, after that, they helped provide clean water, safe housing, schools, roads, homes and neighborhoods for an area of unrest. The one soldier says to the server, “I’ll have that illegal, imperialist sandwich that glorifies war, invasion and propagates a militaristic, war-mongering agenda. What was that sandwich called again?” The server says, “We call that the ‘Hero’, sir.”

Ba-dum ching!

This and many other ill-informed, anti-Canadian jokes can be heard on the hottest comedy tour in the country. “Looney Profs” is the brainchild of 15 professors from the University of Regina and has taken the country by storm with its comedic sense of entitlement, and perverse egocentricity.

“This is clearly a juxtaposition of people in positions of academia who have no intellect at all,” said the Looney Profs public relations manager, “This is what catches the audience off guard; you expect them to say something intelligent but, the Profs portray themselves as Marxist, ivory tower hacks who are isolated from reality.

“That is the sheer brilliance of the comedy show; you are completely shocked at how academics can make you believe that they are they stupidest, most out of touch people on the planet. The rampant cronyism they spew would be frightening if it were real. But, thankfully, it’s all an act.”

And, the rave reviews for the show has earned the production thousands of fans.

“Could you imagine if this ungrateful, misinformed, revisionist bullshit was really taught in the universities?” said Tara Washington, who had just seen the show, “Like, holy shit, that would just mess up the students in their classes. I am so glad that these profs really don’t believe the hilariously vile, verbal defecation that they spew out of their mouths.”

Other fans agreed.

“You really do think that these professors are a bunch of shit for brains,” said Malcolm Trent as he waited in line for an autograph from one of the Looney Profs, “I mean, I was sitting there, listening to the characters spew this laughable Marxist, comedic tripe and was debating with my friends whether their skulls were full of pig excrement or dog excrement.”

“It was very convincing!” said another fan, “I have no idea how they kept a straight face for the whole performance. That part about how 15,000 Canadian troops can take over an entire country because we are an imperialist, colonial oppressor? I just about pissed myself laughing!

“You can’t even fill an NHL hockey rink let alone take over an entire country with 15,000 troops! I just laughed and laughed.”

Because of the huge success of their debut tour, the 15 U of R Profs have been nominated for the Governor General’s “Heroes of Comedy” award. There are also plans for the Looney Profs to go to Afghanistan to help entertain the troops overseas in person.