Lightning Strike Destroys “Touchdown Obama” Statue

WASHINGTON, DC, USA (SBP) – A six-storey statue of an American messianic figure was struck by lightning Tuesday night and burned to the ground, leaving only a blackened steel skeleton and pieces of foam that were scooped up by evangelical fans.

The statue, entitled “The One”, is one of Washington’s most familiar landmarks. It has stood since 2008 and depicts the Holy Messenger known as “Obama”, a Kenyan-born Hawaiian God who traveled all 57 states and promised a hope and change for all of humanity. According to legend, Obama had the power to slow the rise of the oceans and heal the entire planet.

The lightning strike set the statue ablaze around 8 pm on Tuesday night, Washington police said.

“This statue was one of those images that sent a tingle up my leg,” said onlooker Matthew Chris, “Although the fire is devastating, we still have hope the statue would rebuild itself in three days.”

The hollow sculpture, about 19 metres (62 feet) tall and 12 metres wide at the base, showed the sacrosanct figure of Obama from the torso up and was nicknamed “Touchdown Obama” because of the way the arms were raised, similar to a referee signaling a touchdown in American football. With loving union employed hands, the figure was made of plastic foam and teleprompter glass over a steel frame, which was all that remained yesterday.

The fire spread from the statue to a couple of nearby houses. While one house was completely lost in the blaze, firefighters were barely able to save the other one. Damage from the fire was estimated at one trillion dollars and will require a bailout in order to be rebuilt.

“The statue’s mystique is just too big to fail.” said another onlooker, “Yes we can rebuild it. But, it will require the proper stimulus.”