World Famous Calgary Rodeo Renamed To Honour Local Football Team

CALGARY (SBP) – The internationally renowned Calgary Stampede has decided to honour the recent achievements of the city’s professional football team by renaming it’s world-renowned rodeo to “Runner Up Roundup”.

“We felt it important to rename the event to best reflect how we’ve been represented by the local football team,” said an executive of the soon to be renamed Calgary Stampede, “They’ve been honouring us with their moniker and, now, we thought we’d return the favour.”

The Runner-Up Roundup will be similar to the Calgary Stampede but with some minor changes.  Firstly, the slogan will be changed to “The Second-or-Third Greatest Outdoor Show On Earth”.  Additionally, the world’s best cowboys will also not be invited in favour of contestants who brag a lot despite finishing second or third when it came to the final rounds of competition.

“Yeah, you see that, punk?  See that?” said cowboy Ronnie Bryant as he ran up to a child and flexed his biceps after being thrown off a bucking bronco, “That’s how second or third place is done, son!  That’s what I’m talkin’ about!”

The Runner-Up Roundup will be a two week showcase of second or third-rate entertainment.  The first week will have an impressive array of stars who will make everyone think this is a world class show.  However, as the second week arrives and the pressure is on, the competitors will start revealing why they can’t win dinner-plate-sized belt buckles.

“We’ve also made arrangements with food vendors who specialize in piping the sounds of food cooking over the loudspeaker but not providing any food.” said the Runner Up Roundup executive, “Tourists can revel in the mouth watering audio of a sizzling steak without the need for actually seeing or tasting it.”

Fans of the old Calgary Stampede are advised to not mistake the onslaught of overconfidence and grandstanding for ability to do the job.  While the two week event features cowboys who eventually  fail to live up to expectations, it doesn’t stop the participants from showboating and pretending they are “all that”.

“Yee haw!  Look at me, I’m a cowboy!” said a dirt covered Brandon Drowner as he did a moon walk across the corral, “I held on to that bull for 3 full seconds.  Go, me-ee!  Go me-ee!  It’s my birthday!  It’s my birthday!”

Advanced tickets for the Runner-Up Round up go on sale in the new year.  Discounts are available as the event won’t feature anyone performing in the finals.