Bitchin G20 House Wrecker Party Less Expensive Than Anticipated |
TORONTO (SBP) — What if you invited everyone to a house trashing party and everyone came? You’d think that would get pretty expensive, right? Well, what if your expenses for the house trashing party were only 60% of what you originally thought? Would that make for successful house trashing party?
That was the situation for Prime Minister Stephen Harper as he proudly announced that the G20 House Wreck-Fest held in Toronto last year only cost the taxpayers a mere 600 million dollars as opposed to the original 1 billion dollars.
“I think this shows, beyond a reasonable doubt, how much of a fiscal conservative I am,” said Harper as he stood in front of an multi-million dollar artificial lake that held Jagermeister and Red Bull, “Now, don’t we all grab a solid gold ladle, have a drink from this lake, forget about the budget, and have a good time?”
The House Wrecker-fest was a massive party that invited leaders from 20 countries around the world to come and enjoy. It was meant to give people a break from their worries of the world-wide recession and to just let loose like it were a bachelor party in Las Vegas.
“It was one bitchin show!” remembered a party goer who stayed mainly with the street celebrations, “I remember they had these people dressed up like Darth Vader who would surround you, cuff you, and play this game called ‘7 hours in heaven’. You know, like ‘7 minutes in heaven’ but with a small cell, hand cuffs and the occasional billy club to the head?”
“I used to think money couldn’t buy that kind of fun but I was wrong.” recalled another party goer, “And, to top it off, it was money spent under budget. How sweet is that?”
House Wreck-fest 2010 also included a large fence game where people were dared to go within 5 meters of it without getting playfully tasered or rough housed.
“Dude, that fence exhibit was like an episode of ‘Jackass’. For real!” beamed another party goer, “However many millions of dollars they spent on that thing — and still kept it under budget — it was totally worth it.”
Other street exhibits included a police carbeque, an anti corporate choir, and a fast food restaurant smash up.
“This was government money well spent,” said a downtown business owner, “I remember spending days sweeping up all the broken glass and estimating all the stolen merchandise from my store. But, if it brought world leaders together to forget about the problems we face, then I’m okay with it. Especially if it came under budget.”
Because House Wreck-fest 2010 was a fiscal triumph for the Harper Government, Canadians are optimistic that the country is headed for a proud new fiscally responsible era like those of the Trudeau years.
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