Vancouver Rioters Apologize For Getting Caught |
VANCOUVER (SBP) — A week after the Stanley Cup riots, more tragedy has occurred as thousands of participants have been identified through photos posted on social networking sites like facebook and twitter. Because their anonymity was compromised, many of the rioters have come forward and apologized for getting caught.
“I am so sorry! This is not like me at all!” said Vancouver rioter, Nathan Cotilak in a press conference, “Usually I set my privacy settings on facebook set so that nobody outside of my immediate friends can see what I’m up to. Obviously someone shared a photo with someone they shouldn’t have.”
Cotilak went on to say that the suspected person on his friends list has been de-friended and blocked from his profile.
Cotilak was just one of hundreds of protesters who have been identified via social networking websites in the aftermath of the rioting following the CFL’s BC Lions’ 24-0 preseason victory over the Calgary Stampeders (Related Story). Many of the protesters from that night have learned many valuable lessons about doing damage to a large, metropolitan city.
“For one, I think the next time a bunch of us decide to break windows and set cars on fire, we should really make sure that nobody has any cell phones, cameras, or any other type of recording device,” said Tom Klang, after writing a lengthy apology entitled “Oops, my bad” on his facebook page, “We’ve found out first hand that taking pictures and posting them online kinda takes away from your fun.”
In retaliation for embarrassing the city, some of the people identified online have been subjected to vigilante justice such as having their homes egged and their car tires flattened.
“Like, really, this is bullshit!” snapped Moonbeam McLean after someone smashed his car’s windshield, “Who does that? It makes no sense! Don’t people realize that this is my shit and my property?”
“I feel so disrespected! What the hell is wrong with everyone? Where the hell are the police?” exclaimed another identified rioter after someone threw a rock through a window in his house, “I’m going to sue the city for not protecting my human rights! We purposely left a few cop cars untorched. Where they hell are those pigs?”
Vancouver’s mayor weighed in on solutions to preventing future embarrassment for the Winter Olympic City.
“We do agree that the images that were posted around the world, showing Vancouver as a city with a weak social fabric, did some damage to our reputation” said The Mayor, “So, from now on, the city of Vancouver is going to ban recording devices for all future riots. Anyone caught posting a picture online will have their complimentary weed taken away from them on the spot.”
Until the next riot, an “I’m sorry I got caught” wall has been set up downtown for people to sign and pledge to not bring recording devices to the next civic unrest.
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